Happy Halloween!

Pumpkin Carving

Costumes

Orange Lunch at Elijah's School

Friends and Family!

Celebrating, Learning, Praying

I have been away from the blog world for quite some time! Haha, when I first started blogging, I posted like, every other day. Now it's been 6 weeks! Ah well, I heard someone wise say, "Your blog should work for you. A blog stops being useful when YOU have to work for your BLOG." I agree. So enough apologies - I don't feel guilty!

I did have a couple things on my mind I wanted to mention.

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First, my mom is married to a wonderful man!

She had a gorgeous wedding last Saturday, October 18. And I could not be more happy for her! She is positively radiant wit

h joy. I don't think I've ever seen her like this - ever. I will never forget seeing her spontaneously dancing with Jesse, giggling like a little teenager, a couple days before the wedding. It was the perfect snapshot in my brain. That image contrasts so starkly with where she had been over the last 5 or 6 years, after my parents divorced. It was so hard seeing her hurt so much. Her delight in her new marriage is another representation of healing and peace for our family. I know last Saturday was a great day for my mom. But it was a great day for me, too!

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The next thing I wanted to share is a little story about Elijah. A couple weeks ago we were in the car, listening to some music. The words to the song included the phrase, "Freedom is mine." Elijah asked me, "What is freedom?"

After taking a minute to think how I could put it in terms he could understand, I said, "Freedom means being able to make your own choices."

He totally surprised me by responding, "Well, I don't want that!... I want GOD to make my choices for me."

I couldn't believe it! I thought it was just awesome that that was in his heart. I was taken aback - the song wasn't even a Christian song, so it was so cool to see him integrate his budding faith into a part of life that, on the surface, seems unrelated.

And I thought about it later - I thought, he's right.

Especially in light of this election - it's important to remember who is really calling the shots.

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Finally, I want to enlist each of you to fight in prayer for Austan, Melanie, and Witt Lupher (Melanie is Annalee's sister-in-law). They learned that little Witt has Edward's Syndrome, which brings with it a short life span. They have been told most likely 1 month to 1 year.

My heart breaks for them. Please pray. They must be carrying a heavy load, dealing with the struggles and questions of this seemingly impossible calling.

A Penny Saved...

In the last 6 weeks, we have begun giving Elijah an allowance. I always knew it would be a good learning experience for him, but it was the need for me to have some simplicity that drove me to implement it this summer. I got tired of having to decide the answer to "Can I have a toy?" "Can I have some candy?" every time we went to ANY store. I needed a more consistent way to answer that question rather than falling back on whatever mood I was in at the moment.

We give Elijah $5 a week - 1 to give at church, 1 to save indefinitely, and 3 to spend on candy, toys, etc. It has really helped me out when he asks for little stuff; now I just say, "sure, you can buy that with your money," or "No, you don't have any money until Friday." And it's great for him, too, to learn money's value, do simple math, and even have some delayed gratification.

I was extremely proud of him this week when he got his eye on something. It was a cute little stuffed Halloween ghost (he LOVES stuffed animals) at the grocery store. We were there on Tuesday afternoon, and he thought it was so cool! He said he wanted to get it, but I reminded him he had already spent his money for the week, and that he would get $3 to spend on Friday. He would still need $2 more to buy the ghost. I told him he could save his money until the following Friday, or he could help me around the house, and I'd give him money for it. At only a quarter a chore, he would have to work pretty hard over the space of a few days to get all 8.

He can also earn money by reading. He can sound out words very well for a 4-year-old, but I think it intimidates him a bit, because it takes a lot of effort. So we have a deal that for every 5 words he reads to me - ANY words (including on billboards or box labels) - I will give him a quarter. It has worked well to motivate him and to help him feel some more success. With more practice, he is getting better all the time and is even started to get a few sight words down! It is exciting!

So Elijah, with his big heart and great attitude, decided to go for it. The first night he set a goal of earning 3 quarters from reading. He stuck with it, even though he got tired of it near the end, and he reached his goal! It was so exciting.

For the next couple days, he helped me around the house, doing little chores like taking out the bathroom trash, helping me mop, dusting, or moving his stuffed animals onto his bed so I could vacuum.

And this afternoon, he earned his eighth quarter by reading 5 words in his National Geographic Kids magazine. We jumped up and down and squealed after he read that fifth word!! It was so exciting to see him set his mind to something and then work hard to achieve it. What a great feeling as a parent to watch your child succeed and learn valuable lessons in the process!

As soon as he woke up from his nap, we hopped in the car and went to United. Elijah is now a very proud owner of a cute little stuffed ghost.

I asked him this evening, "How did if feel to buy the thing you had been working so hard for?" His eyes got big and a smile spread across his face as he said, "Definitely good!" And I think he was excited, because he already has plans for what he is going to buy next!

Isn't he great?

New Beginnings

With the end of summer comes the beginning of fall. Fall is my favorite season! I love the feeling of excitement in the air as the weather cools, and I love the thrill of new opportunities with new beginnings!

Something went crazy with the way I uploaded the pictures, and I didn't want to take the time to redo it, so I'm sorry about the weird formatting.

Kate had a wonderful first birthday! We enjoyed our little party. We all ate at El Fenix for dinner, and then we came back to our house for some cake and presents. It was so sweet celebrating the beginning of her second year and watching her enjoy all the wonderful gifts she received! We are so thankful for Kate.

Her cousin Gage helped her blow out the candles on her farm-themed cake. She really enjoyed the thumbprint cookies, and didn't want anything much to do with the cake while the thumbprints were around!

One of my favorite presents she got was a baby doll. It was amazing to watch her instantly pick it up and start hugging and kissing it! It was like an instinct. Since then, "Day-dee" (as she calls it) has become one of her favorite toys. She loves to take Day-dee's hat off and put it back on, take it for a ride in her push walker, and pretend to feed it with a spoon and bowl. It is so much fun to play dolls with her!

Elijah has begun another school year, this time at Stepping Stones. He goes Tuesday and Thursday mornings to Teacher Sherri's house (Annalee's mom), and he has felt right at home there! I have had many moms tell me that Stepping Stones was such a wonderful place for their children, and I am so thankful they recommended it to me. Sherri only takes 8 students, so the kids get lots of personal attention. She focuses on giving them lots of experiences and developing the kids' social skills. I was particularly touched by the fact that Sherri sent home a parent questionnaire, asking us to write about our child's interests, strengths, and character issues we are working on. She puts so much thought into helping her students grow as a person, in addition to academic learning. Sherri, I know you read this blog, so I will say a thank you to you again! Both Elijah and I couldn't be more excited!

We will have to begin watching out for peanuts - We were surprised to find out that Kate is allergic! While eating her second peanut butter and jelly sandwich, she started rubbing her eyes. I thought she was tired, so I took her out of her high chair. Then I noticed her whole face had broken out into red splotches. She got very swollen, and even the whites of her eyes turned red! I felt sorry for her - I know she was itching or burning, because she kept rubbing her face. She acted fine other than that, though, and the bumps went away about 30 minutes later.

At her checkup a few days later, I asked Dr. Wiley about it, and he said that we should definitely consider it a true allergy. I told him that a family member had suggested that I wait a few days and try her on peanut butter again to see if it was a true allergy. Dr. Wiley's reaction surprised me - he just looked up at me and smiled, and he said, "You can do that, but if you do, be sure and do it in the morning in case you need to get to the E.R. quickly." I thought, okay! I guess this is serious. He said that a nut allergy tends to be progressive, and each time your body is exposed to it, the reaction will be worse. And it's one that she may not grow out of. So... we will look out for peanut oil, peanuts, and maybe even peas and soy beans. It will be a new way of thinking for me! I'm glad it is something we can avoid without too much trouble.

Elijah began taking gymnastics! He goes once a week to Beamers Gymnastics. They have about 15 students in their class, boys and girls from ages 2 to 4, but there are three coaches. They divide the kids into groups and rotate through different stations. He is forever jumping and flipping at home, so I'm excited to put some of that energy into constructive learning and fun! He has enjoyed being on the trampoline, balance beam, and uneven bars. At home he practices straddle jumps, back bends, and is even working on cartwheels, headstands and handstands!

I hope your family's fall is full of exciting new beginnings, as well!

Causing a Scene

If there's anything I enjoy, it's good, clean fun. When you put that together with originality, a positive purpose, and a large scale, I feel delighted!

This week I stumbled upon a website called improveverywhere.com. It has instantly become one of my new favorites! The site chronicles the journeys of Charlie Todd, a teacher at an Improv School in New York City. For 8 years, he, his friends, colleagues, and often hundreds of strangers he calls "undercover agents," have planned and carried out over 70 "missions" in public places. These missions are each different, with the purpose being the same: break out of the mundane, and spread some laughter.

Their missions started off small, when Charlie pretended to be the singer Ben Folds at a bar. He carried it on for several hours, and by the end of the evening, he was surrounded by girls and had people asking him for autographs. As an actor new to the city, he discovered he could create my own theatre rather than waiting around for someone to give me stage time. He typed it up and put it on the web, and Improv Everywhere was born. They have grown into a large entity, sometimes using up to 800 agents! The scope of some of the missions is truly amazing.

While some of the missions might be considered in somewhat poor taste, they are harmless and hilarious. Some of my favorites include:

• Frozen Grand Central
  
• Human Mirror


• Best Game Ever


• The mp3 Experiment IV


• No Shirts


• Food Court Musical


• Cell Phone Symphony
  
  I feel inspired every time I read one of their missions. It is so easy to go through the motions of life; I was happy to be reminded to "Look Up More!"
  
  
  
  

Sugar and Spice

Happy First Birthday, Kate!

It’s hard to believe that it was 366 days ago that we first heard the words, "It's a girl!" This year has been an absolute whirlwind!

When the birthday rolls around, it’s hard not to reminisce about the way she came into this world. It is truly such a miracle! I have relieved it numerous times, and I know I will relive it countless more. It was one of the three best days of my life. I would like to share the story with you, so get a drink and get comfy, and think back to one year ago.

I loved being pregnant! I felt good, and I loved anticipating the baby’s arrival. We decided not to find out (again) if it was a boy or a girl. I love surprises!

But by the time I was 40 weeks along, I was really ready to have the baby. After having a miscarriage, I struggled with an irrational fear that, although everything had been wonderful all along, something would go wrong at the end or in labor or delivery. I really wanted to go into labor on my own, after having a bit of a rough time with Elijah’s induction. But I was struggling with how long I could stand to wait with my worry. We made an appointment to be induced the following week. The doctor asked us what day we’d pick, and Lance randomly said Wednesday, the 15th.

Nothing happened that week. I was scheduled for a regular 41-week checkup on Tuesday morning. I had some contractions that morning before I went to the doctor, and I asked him about it. He said he wouldn’t be surprised if I was in labor (I had been dilated to a 2 for a couple weeks), but that I should wait and see if the contractions got more regular.

I was really excited! My mom and Elijah were with me. We made a stop at the grocery store to pick up a prescription and a birthday cake for the baby (Elijah’s idea!). All during the visit to the store, I was having contractions. My mom and I had fun timing them. We decided it was time to start writing the times down. They really weren’t in a regular pattern, and weren’t especially painful, but they were present, nonetheless.

The contractions lasted all morning. I called Lance and told him about them, and we decided to start making our final preparations to get ready to go to the hospital, perhaps around lunchtime. I worked around the house for an hour or so, and about noon, I sat down at the computer for 20 minutes or so. When I finished, I noticed my contractions had slowed down considerably. Then they stopped altogether. I was a bit disappointed when I called Lance and told him to hold off on the hospital after all.

At about 4:30, my contractions picked up again. Elijah had “Meet the Teacher” for his preschool that afternoon at 5, so I took him in. We enjoyed playing around in his new classroom, and all the while I was having contractions. At this point, they were painful enough to make me take pause.

Our friends Matt and Heather caught up with us at Rainbow School, and they invited us to dinner for one last gathering before the baby came. I called Lance (who was still at the office), and asked him if he could make it. He was finishing something up, so the Dodds, Elijah and I went to CVS to kill some time (random, I know, but they have a good toy aisle for our two little 3-year-olds). All the while, I was having contractions. They were hurting enough for me to stop talking during them.

We went to Chili’s for dinner. We had a great time, but my contractions really started picking up – I would sometimes have to grip something to distract me from the pain. I was timing and writing them down the whole time. By the time we left dinner, they were hurting me enough that I was afraid to drive. We decided it was really time to start thinking about going in.

My mother-in-law came into town to spend the night. She was scheduled to be in around 8 p.m. While we were waiting for her, I got into the bathtub to relax. I’ll never forget that Elijah asked Lance if he could join me. Of course, I said yes. J Then I got into the rocking chair with a heating pad to relax my back.

Lance called Labor and Delivery and asked them when it was time for me to come up. My contractions were intensifying, but they still weren’t in a regular pattern. They basically told me to come whenever I couldn’t stand the pain anymore! I told my mother-in-law that I’d put Elijah to bed for her, and then I’d go. While I was getting stuff ready, I sat down in the middle of a contraction, and she gently told me, “You need to go.” I knew she was right! At about 10:30, we headed up to the hospital. I called my mom on the way and told her I wanted her to come.

I was really in pain by this time. When I walked into the E.R., the nurse at the desk said, “May I help you?” “I think I’m in labor,” I told her. “Better you than me,” she said, and got me a wheelchair. In a couple minutes, they rolled me into a room.

The nurse got me in a gown and checked my cervix. I was dilated to a 6 ½! She told me that if I wanted an epidural, I had better go ahead and order it, or I might not have time to get one. I did want an epidural, but I felt proud that I had gone that far without it (I went all the way to an 8 before I got my epidural with Elijah). They processed me quickly, but there was still some red tape to go through before I could get it. During the next 45 minutes, my contractions intensified so much that I started to feel a surge of panic before the pain would come on. I really began to want relief. They offered me demerol to take the edge off the pain. But that was one thing I was sure about - I didn't want anything to make me feel "loopy," so I refused. It was one of the best decisions I ever made! I was calm and happy in between contractions.

Finally, at 11:15, the anesthesiologist came in the room. They got the epidural started, and within a few minutes, the almost insufferable pain was gone. An intense sense of relief swept over me. I realized I had done it! I had gotten everything I wanted... I went into labor on my own, even though I was scheduled to be induced the next day. I went without the pain meds, so I would get to be mentally awake when the baby came. I labored so much at home on my own. Now all that remained was to wait. It was only a matter of time until I would meet my little one!

The waiting of the next few hours passed very quickly. I had so much fun! I played a game of dice with my mom and Lance. I invited my family members to come in and see me, and we shared the excitement. We all couldn’t wait to find out if it was a boy or a girl.

At 2:25 a.m., I was fully dilated, but my water hadn't broken. They broke my water and told me it was time to push! The epidural continued to work WONDERFULLY (whoever invented those is my friend!). And all through the pushing, I was watching Lance's face. He was so excited, standing on his tiptoes to see our baby! Then, 14 minutes later, after the final push, time slowed down as the doctor held our baby and rotated her to face us. We heard, "It's a girl!!" We all squealed, and my mom and I put our heads together and laughed and laughed. It was bliss!!! I was so surprised... I wanted a girl, but I never actually thought we'd get one. It was one of the most beautiful, blissful, joyous moments in my whole life.

Kate was born at 2:39 a.m. Wednesday, August 15, 2007. She weighed a whopping 9 pounds, 1 ounce!! (I couldn’t believe she was that big – I really didn’t have any trouble at all with the pushing.) She was 21 1/2 inches long.We didn't hardly sleep that night, but I was too happy to sleep, anyway. We stayed in the hospital all day Wednesday, and were so blessed by so many friends and family members who came to love on us and give us a pink explosion!


Lance and I just practically giggled all day, hardly believing that we had a daughter. I felt great, and never even took a single pain pill in the hospital.

Elijah was absolutely precious about his new little sister. He had been saying for the last 2 weeks that he wanted the baby to be a girl. Lance was the one to tell him. When Elijah heard the news, he jumped up and down and clapped! He called her "his baby." On the car ride home, we put both the kids in the back in their car seats. Elijah said, "I want her to scoot over by me." It was so sweet! He couldn't take his eyes off her.

Kate came into this world so easily, really. And all my labor and delivery dreams came true. We laughed later when we realized that Kate had chosen the same birthday Lance chose for her (when we scheduled the induction). It was a time for rejoicing, and we did! Today is another day for rejoicing, as we celebrate the first year of Kate’s life. It seems every stage is more fun than the last. She has grown to have a funny personality, lots of bubbling emotions, curious fingers, and a delightful laugh. I am so excited to have a little girl in my life. We have already shared so many tender, silly, and memorable moments, and many more are to come. Before we had children, I told Lance that I had always had a happy life, but I never knew the true meaning of JOY until our children were born.

I thank God for the pleasure of being Kate’s mama! Happy First Birthday, baby girl. I love you with all my heart.

Fun in the Summertime

It's been almost a month since my last post!

We went on a wonderfully relaxing trip in July. Lance had to go to meetings in Austin and Arlington, so we tagged along! We stayed in hotels, ate out, and relaxed. The highlights were going to the Austin Children's Museum, 6 Flags, and an awesome pet store where we got to touch lots of the animals.

One of Elijah's favorite parts of the Children's Museum - the Milk Exhibit. This is the ramp where you roll the "bottled milk" to the "grocery store." It's awesome!

Looking at herself in a mirror at the children's museum

Although she'd been to the museum before, this was her first time to be old enough to enjoy the exhibits herself! It was fun to watch her figure out how to put the ball in the hole after it rolled down.

At 6 flags - my sister Amy, Elijah, and my nephew Ethan on a 3-D ride. Elijah LOVED 6 Flags and already can't wait to go back!

Kate's favorite part of 6 Flags was the mist sprayers. She is a water girl for sure!

The kids got their portraits made. This was my favorite one of them together.

Last weekend, 2 of my greatest friends, Tahj and Fran, and their guys, joined us for a fun day last weekened. They came over for a big homemade breakfast that morning. Then, in the evening, we all had a triple date! We enjoyed some delicious chicken fried steak at Abilene's Beehive, and then we came back to our house for some Rock Band, courtesy of Guy. I had never tried it before - we all had a great time!

My aunt's tuxedo store, Esquire Tuxedo here in Abilene, is closing after 34 years. They gave away tuxes to everyone in the family, including "Tolar. Elijah Tolar." He LOVES his tux, and he actually wore it to Wal-Mart one morning! He'll wear it to my mom's wedding in October. Isn't he dashing?




I can hardly believe my littlest angel will be a year old on Friday! She is growing up so fast. We are having a wonderful time, and I count myself more blessed every day!


She is doing really well. Here are some of her latest feats:

• She can walk a bit, and has walked as many as 10 steps in a row without falling. Every time she does it, Elijah says, "I saw that!"
• She can say about 35 words (and I thought Elijah was a talker!). The ones we hear most often are "Mama," "Down," "Thank you," "See," "Bite," and "Uh-oh." It is so much fun to get to know her in this way!
• She has 6 teeth now - 4 on top and 2 on bottom. She had some hard times a couple weeks back. It's tough getting 3 top teeth at once! They are still coming down a bit, but pretty soon, she's gonna have a mouthful.
  
  
  She is learning to feed herself with a spoon. This is one of her favorite tricks!
  
  
  We have been having a bit of a hard time with bedtime again - Elijah has started to be afraid of the dark. I'm at a bit of a loss for what to do to help him through this stage - Lance and I have racked our brains for a couple weeks now, trying to think of a new approach. It seems we've already tried it all, from being sympathetic to being serious. We've even bought special toys to protect him and talked about faith. It's a strange mix of emotions to hear him go through it - I feel so sorry for him, and I want to scoop him up and let him stay right beside me all the time. But I know that's not best for him. And it makes things difficult on everyone when he gets so upset that he wakes Kate up. If anyone has suggestions, they would be most welcomed.
  
  In the meantime, I'm weaning Kate, which is another process of doing what seems counter-intuitive. It's hard to "push them out of the nest" sometimes, even though you know it's right and good and what's meant to be! I feel so blessed to have been able to breastfeed both of my children for a year, and it's hard to see that precious time come to a close, especially not knowing for sure whether or not we're going to have another one (my vote is yes!).
  
  I hope all is well as your summer draws to a close!