Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

...if that is true, then you guys must REALLY love me!

It has been many months since my last blog entry – I have been thinking about updating for some time now, but I guess the longer you wait, the harder it gets to get back into it.

Probably the chief reason for my long absence is the illness of my grandmother. In mid-December, she became critically ill and had to have surgery to remove scar tissue from her intestines. The surgery itself went well, but she has not recovered well from the process. She was in the hospital for about 6 weeks (if I remember correctly), with

 at least a week in ICU. At home, she is basically bed-ridden. She cannot stay by herself any more. She has lived with my aunt for over 20 years, which is a blessing. But many of us have to help my aunt by staying with Meme during the day. My kids and I have been going over about once a week to take care of her.

It has been hard seeing her decline so much, someone who is so central and vital to your family life. It was very difficult to watch her in such vulnerable positions – all my life I have seen her care for everyone else. In the hospital, there were weeks when she couldn’t even wipe her own mouth.

She has recovered more than I ever thought she would! I rejoice that she is back to her old spunky self. She has regained some of her strength, and is able to get out of bed for up to an hour at a time.  There are good days and bad days. While caring for her is a time-consuming job, and a group effort for all of my family, I thank God that my children and I get to spend more time with her.

The last time I wrote, Kate was only 15 months old. She is 20 months now. She is so busy and full of life! 

Her speech is completely amazing. I just love talking to her! I'm excited that she's getting into the phase of saying funny, quotable things.  The other day she cracked us up by saying, “Remember? Cheese?” as if any of us had forgotten it! Haha!  

Last week she started with the “Wook-a me, Mommy”s. It is adorable! I love her little voice. I have gotten to where I can hardly wait until she wakes up from her naps so I can play with Katie-Bug some more. She is simply delightful!

Elijah is as brilliant and vivacious as ever! He is finishing up the soccer season (his first). He has really impressed us by being a very good player! Last year, he played tee-ball, and he had fun, but it wasn’t really his thing. By the time practice was halfway over, he was ready to go to the playground. But this has been a totally different experience. There is much less downtime in soccer, and it’s less complicated. He is a good defense player. I have had a blast watching him!

I do have a pretty funny story to tell about Elijah. This is going to crack Sherri (Elijah’s teacher) up – I haven’t even told her yet!

Elijah has become interested in cusswords lately…. Just wondering which words you can say, and which you can’t. I have a very open way of talking with him – I believe it’s important to answer every question he asks (in an age-appropriate manner) without making him feel awkward for asking the question.

A couple weeks ago, Elijah asked me, “Mom, what’s the worst word in the world?”

So, I told him about the F-word. I actually said it (even though I felt like I had to whisper it!), so he would know what it was. Of course, I told him it was a very very rude word, and that we shouldn’t even say it to each other in a discussing manner. He seemed to understand, and went on about his day.

A few days later, when I took Elijah to school, his teacher called me out onto the front porch – she said she had something to tell me about. I wondered what it could be.

Every school day, there is a ‘letter helper’ in their class, and this helper gets to choose whatever letter they would like to talk about. One day, a girl had chosen… the letter F.

At this point, my mind started racing. I was squirming like crazy – of course, you can imagine what I was thinking! I was just dreading her next words, sure of what she was going to tell me. I was already imagining the parent phone calls and planning on making Elijah eat soap for dinner for a week!

Sherri continued. As she talked, I know my eyes got wider and wider. She said, “We were talking about words that began with F. One girl said, ‘Frog.’ Another said ‘Four.’ And someone else said, ‘Fly.’ Then Elijah raised his hand.”

With every word, the tension mounted, and in my head, I yelled, “WHAT IS IT?!?! WHAT DID

 ELIJAH SAY?!”

I winced and braced myself. She seemed to be speaking in slow motion as she told me, “Then Elijah said, ‘That’s alliteration!’ ”

I cracked up laughing! I’m sure she could see the relief flooding through me.  It was such goodnews that my fears weren’t realized! I practically jumped up and down and shouted when I told her something like, “THAT’S THE BEST STORY I’VE EVER HEARD!!”

It’s good to be back!

"I am a man of prayer.... I will call on Him as long as I live." (Psalm 109:4; 116:2)

Elijah and I pray together every night. 

Most nights, it is him listening to me pray; usually by that time in the day, he is too tired to think of anything to say. I have worked hard to expose him to different types of prayer - I want him to see prayer as much more than a 'good habit.' I want Elijah to know and experience that prayer is what keeps our spirits alive!... how we communicate with God and commune with His Spirit. 

Oftentimes at night, I'll ask Elijah what kind of prayer he wants to pray with me.

We started early learning to say "Thank You" prayers. They are some of the simplest, most precious. I believe thanking God teaches us to open our eyes and take note of God's rich blessings!

Another one that we learned early was a "Help Me God" prayer. My sister prays out loud with her children every time they get a little bump on their heads or scrape their knees. It is a real-life, child-sized application of the thought that God carries our burdens and heals us in difficult times. A friend said recently that sometimes, when we talk to our friends or families about our problems, we get stirred up and end up feeling worse after the conversation. But when we take it to God, we always end with peace.

A type of prayer that challenges me is the "God, You Are..." prayer. We start by saying, "God, You are..." and take turns filling in the blank. It's funny sometimes to hear what Elijah comes up with! He'll repeat words like, "awesome!" and "cool." It's sweet to name different aspects of God that are meaningful to us, and to hear what Elijah likes about Him. (He seems to focus on the size of God quite a bit. And it's so good for me to hear!) Unfortunately, my list usually seems to short... it stretches me to think of the vocabulary to describe Him. In this category, sometimes we just sing a praise song.

One of my favorites is a "Question" prayer. I told Elijah about a year ago that he could ask God anything he wanted to ask. We often ask silly questions like, "Why do birds fly?" or "How did you make elephants?" And sometimes it's more serious, like asking, "Why did that baby get sick?" This leads us to the concept of listening to God. I have told Elijah that God will answer us when we talk to Him, though it's not with a voice we can hear. If he wants to hear God, he should think in his heart what God would tell him. 

Recently, I have been thinking of ways to help Elijah out of his shell a bit when it comes to praying. This week, we have talked about what we were going to pray before we actually prayed it. It has really sparked him! And tonight, we shared a particularly sweet prayer time. We think of one person to pray for, and one or two things in Elijah's own heart that he would like to tell God about. Then, we listen for what God would say. Elijah picked to pray for his dad. I prompted him with, "What do you think we should ask God for for Daddy?" Elijah said, "Dad works hard, so he needs lots of energy!" He prayed for God to give Lance good food so he could have energy for his work.

Then I asked Elijah, "Did anything make you happy today?" He said he was happy about playing today. And I asked him, "Did anything make you sad today?" He told me he was sad when he broke one of the Christmas ornaments (it WAS really sad - I felt sorry for Elijah, because he felt SO badly about it he cried! It was fine, of course, and just an accident.). So I told him to tell God about those things. After he did, I asked, "What do you think God would tell you about the things you told him? What would he tell you about the ornament?" 

"That it's okay."

"Oh, that's good. Yes, that's right," I told him. "And what would God tell you about what you were happy about?" 

"That he would get me a new toy."

I cracked up! Elijah looked up at me with a glint in his eyes, and a smile broke out on his face.

"Did God really tell you that?" I asked him, "Or did you tell yourself that?"

He laughed out loud when he said, "I told myself that!" 

After we laughed for a minute, I asked him, "What do you think God would really say about what you are happy about?"

"I don't know," he answered.

"Let's listen, and see if we can hear what God would say to us about that."

"Okay," he said. "You listen too."

He was sitting in my lap on the floor of his room. He laid his head on my chest and we were quiet for a moment. Then he looked at me and said, "What did God tell you?"

"He said he is so happy you are happy, and he wanted to give you so many blessings. He hopes you use your blessings to help other people to know about Him." Then I asked, "What did God tell you?"

He simply said, "I love you, Elijah."

My heart burst open with joy - because I knew Elijah really had listened, and I believe God really had told him that!! It was so precious, so amazing!

I am excited that I can see the foundations of spirituality forming and setting right before my eyes. It is such meaningful work to help him come to know about God, and also to see him coming to KNOW GOD.

I personally have been in a period of 'deepening' in my own spiritual and prayer life.  And as I'm growing, it is exciting to get to share what I've learned with him! Maybe he'll learn some of these things earlier than I did. I want us to grow into praying more often and in many different settings. I want prayer to become a reflex for him, when things are good or bad. 

I certainly don't have parenting figured out. In fact, most days, I just make it up as I go along! But I take such great comfort in the fact that I am not the one who has to shape Elijah into the man he is meant to be. That is God's work. Now God can't do it if Elijah resists him. But if I can teach Elijah to love God and to KNOW God, that purity of heart will always leave Elijah open to God's work of forming him. It's painful work sometimes. But as C.S. Lewis says, God is not building us into a neat little house. He is building us into a mansion. And He intends to come and live in it Himself.

Happy Halloween!

Pumpkin Carving

Costumes

Orange Lunch at Elijah's School

Friends and Family!

Celebrating, Learning, Praying

I have been away from the blog world for quite some time! Haha, when I first started blogging, I posted like, every other day. Now it's been 6 weeks! Ah well, I heard someone wise say, "Your blog should work for you. A blog stops being useful when YOU have to work for your BLOG." I agree. So enough apologies - I don't feel guilty!

I did have a couple things on my mind I wanted to mention.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

First, my mom is married to a wonderful man!

She had a gorgeous wedding last Saturday, October 18. And I could not be more happy for her! She is positively radiant wit

h joy. I don't think I've ever seen her like this - ever. I will never forget seeing her spontaneously dancing with Jesse, giggling like a little teenager, a couple days before the wedding. It was the perfect snapshot in my brain. That image contrasts so starkly with where she had been over the last 5 or 6 years, after my parents divorced. It was so hard seeing her hurt so much. Her delight in her new marriage is another representation of healing and peace for our family. I know last Saturday was a great day for my mom. But it was a great day for me, too!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next thing I wanted to share is a little story about Elijah. A couple weeks ago we were in the car, listening to some music. The words to the song included the phrase, "Freedom is mine." Elijah asked me, "What is freedom?"

After taking a minute to think how I could put it in terms he could understand, I said, "Freedom means being able to make your own choices."

He totally surprised me by responding, "Well, I don't want that!... I want GOD to make my choices for me."

I couldn't believe it! I thought it was just awesome that that was in his heart. I was taken aback - the song wasn't even a Christian song, so it was so cool to see him integrate his budding faith into a part of life that, on the surface, seems unrelated.

And I thought about it later - I thought, he's right.

Especially in light of this election - it's important to remember who is really calling the shots.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally, I want to enlist each of you to fight in prayer for Austan, Melanie, and Witt Lupher (Melanie is Annalee's sister-in-law). They learned that little Witt has Edward's Syndrome, which brings with it a short life span. They have been told most likely 1 month to 1 year.

My heart breaks for them. Please pray. They must be carrying a heavy load, dealing with the struggles and questions of this seemingly impossible calling.

A Penny Saved...

In the last 6 weeks, we have begun giving Elijah an allowance. I always knew it would be a good learning experience for him, but it was the need for me to have some simplicity that drove me to implement it this summer. I got tired of having to decide the answer to "Can I have a toy?" "Can I have some candy?" every time we went to ANY store. I needed a more consistent way to answer that question rather than falling back on whatever mood I was in at the moment.

We give Elijah $5 a week - 1 to give at church, 1 to save indefinitely, and 3 to spend on candy, toys, etc. It has really helped me out when he asks for little stuff; now I just say, "sure, you can buy that with your money," or "No, you don't have any money until Friday." And it's great for him, too, to learn money's value, do simple math, and even have some delayed gratification.

I was extremely proud of him this week when he got his eye on something. It was a cute little stuffed Halloween ghost (he LOVES stuffed animals) at the grocery store. We were there on Tuesday afternoon, and he thought it was so cool! He said he wanted to get it, but I reminded him he had already spent his money for the week, and that he would get $3 to spend on Friday. He would still need $2 more to buy the ghost. I told him he could save his money until the following Friday, or he could help me around the house, and I'd give him money for it. At only a quarter a chore, he would have to work pretty hard over the space of a few days to get all 8.

He can also earn money by reading. He can sound out words very well for a 4-year-old, but I think it intimidates him a bit, because it takes a lot of effort. So we have a deal that for every 5 words he reads to me - ANY words (including on billboards or box labels) - I will give him a quarter. It has worked well to motivate him and to help him feel some more success. With more practice, he is getting better all the time and is even started to get a few sight words down! It is exciting!

So Elijah, with his big heart and great attitude, decided to go for it. The first night he set a goal of earning 3 quarters from reading. He stuck with it, even though he got tired of it near the end, and he reached his goal! It was so exciting.

For the next couple days, he helped me around the house, doing little chores like taking out the bathroom trash, helping me mop, dusting, or moving his stuffed animals onto his bed so I could vacuum.

And this afternoon, he earned his eighth quarter by reading 5 words in his National Geographic Kids magazine. We jumped up and down and squealed after he read that fifth word!! It was so exciting to see him set his mind to something and then work hard to achieve it. What a great feeling as a parent to watch your child succeed and learn valuable lessons in the process!

As soon as he woke up from his nap, we hopped in the car and went to United. Elijah is now a very proud owner of a cute little stuffed ghost.

I asked him this evening, "How did if feel to buy the thing you had been working so hard for?" His eyes got big and a smile spread across his face as he said, "Definitely good!" And I think he was excited, because he already has plans for what he is going to buy next!

Isn't he great?

New Beginnings

With the end of summer comes the beginning of fall. Fall is my favorite season! I love the feeling of excitement in the air as the weather cools, and I love the thrill of new opportunities with new beginnings!

Something went crazy with the way I uploaded the pictures, and I didn't want to take the time to redo it, so I'm sorry about the weird formatting.

Kate had a wonderful first birthday! We enjoyed our little party. We all ate at El Fenix for dinner, and then we came back to our house for some cake and presents. It was so sweet celebrating the beginning of her second year and watching her enjoy all the wonderful gifts she received! We are so thankful for Kate.

Her cousin Gage helped her blow out the candles on her farm-themed cake. She really enjoyed the thumbprint cookies, and didn't want anything much to do with the cake while the thumbprints were around!

One of my favorite presents she got was a baby doll. It was amazing to watch her instantly pick it up and start hugging and kissing it! It was like an instinct. Since then, "Day-dee" (as she calls it) has become one of her favorite toys. She loves to take Day-dee's hat off and put it back on, take it for a ride in her push walker, and pretend to feed it with a spoon and bowl. It is so much fun to play dolls with her!

Elijah has begun another school year, this time at Stepping Stones. He goes Tuesday and Thursday mornings to Teacher Sherri's house (Annalee's mom), and he has felt right at home there! I have had many moms tell me that Stepping Stones was such a wonderful place for their children, and I am so thankful they recommended it to me. Sherri only takes 8 students, so the kids get lots of personal attention. She focuses on giving them lots of experiences and developing the kids' social skills. I was particularly touched by the fact that Sherri sent home a parent questionnaire, asking us to write about our child's interests, strengths, and character issues we are working on. She puts so much thought into helping her students grow as a person, in addition to academic learning. Sherri, I know you read this blog, so I will say a thank you to you again! Both Elijah and I couldn't be more excited!

We will have to begin watching out for peanuts - We were surprised to find out that Kate is allergic! While eating her second peanut butter and jelly sandwich, she started rubbing her eyes. I thought she was tired, so I took her out of her high chair. Then I noticed her whole face had broken out into red splotches. She got very swollen, and even the whites of her eyes turned red! I felt sorry for her - I know she was itching or burning, because she kept rubbing her face. She acted fine other than that, though, and the bumps went away about 30 minutes later.

At her checkup a few days later, I asked Dr. Wiley about it, and he said that we should definitely consider it a true allergy. I told him that a family member had suggested that I wait a few days and try her on peanut butter again to see if it was a true allergy. Dr. Wiley's reaction surprised me - he just looked up at me and smiled, and he said, "You can do that, but if you do, be sure and do it in the morning in case you need to get to the E.R. quickly." I thought, okay! I guess this is serious. He said that a nut allergy tends to be progressive, and each time your body is exposed to it, the reaction will be worse. And it's one that she may not grow out of. So... we will look out for peanut oil, peanuts, and maybe even peas and soy beans. It will be a new way of thinking for me! I'm glad it is something we can avoid without too much trouble.

Elijah began taking gymnastics! He goes once a week to Beamers Gymnastics. They have about 15 students in their class, boys and girls from ages 2 to 4, but there are three coaches. They divide the kids into groups and rotate through different stations. He is forever jumping and flipping at home, so I'm excited to put some of that energy into constructive learning and fun! He has enjoyed being on the trampoline, balance beam, and uneven bars. At home he practices straddle jumps, back bends, and is even working on cartwheels, headstands and handstands!

I hope your family's fall is full of exciting new beginnings, as well!

Causing a Scene

If there's anything I enjoy, it's good, clean fun. When you put that together with originality, a positive purpose, and a large scale, I feel delighted!

This week I stumbled upon a website called improveverywhere.com. It has instantly become one of my new favorites! The site chronicles the journeys of Charlie Todd, a teacher at an Improv School in New York City. For 8 years, he, his friends, colleagues, and often hundreds of strangers he calls "undercover agents," have planned and carried out over 70 "missions" in public places. These missions are each different, with the purpose being the same: break out of the mundane, and spread some laughter.

Their missions started off small, when Charlie pretended to be the singer Ben Folds at a bar. He carried it on for several hours, and by the end of the evening, he was surrounded by girls and had people asking him for autographs. As an actor new to the city, he discovered he could create my own theatre rather than waiting around for someone to give me stage time. He typed it up and put it on the web, and Improv Everywhere was born. They have grown into a large entity, sometimes using up to 800 agents! The scope of some of the missions is truly amazing.

While some of the missions might be considered in somewhat poor taste, they are harmless and hilarious. Some of my favorites include:

• Frozen Grand Central
  
• Human Mirror


• Best Game Ever


• The mp3 Experiment IV


• No Shirts


• Food Court Musical


• Cell Phone Symphony
  
  I feel inspired every time I read one of their missions. It is so easy to go through the motions of life; I was happy to be reminded to "Look Up More!"