Home is Where the Heart Is

We are home from a wonderful 2 weeks at Blue Haven. But home is certainly a relative term!

1309 Weaver's Way, Abilene, TX
Home= Where I live every day

After traveling, it is always nice to come back to your own space. We were extremely blessed by our moms while we were gone! My mom took care of our mail, had our lawn mowed, and stocked our fridge so we'd have fresh milk, bread, fruit, and goodies. My mother-in-law spent hours here while we were gone, picking up the packing clutter and toys in every room, and even vacuuming the floors. Our house was immaculate when we came in! It was so nice. (It's not nearly as neat today, since we've been doing endless laundry and unpacking.) Thank you, Moms! What incredible gifts!


Camp Blue Haven, Las Vegas, NM
Home= A place I love with people I love

Some highlights: (pictures coming later)

• Getting to spend time with good people, getting away from the stresses of life, worshipping several times a day in a beautiful, peaceful setting... how can you not be recharged after 2 weeks of that?
• Watching Lance teach, encourage, challenge, minister, pray. I love watching him work (and working with him) in this setting! He is such a man of God with incredible talents that God handed Him. And Lance is going all out, using them for Him, inspiring faith and calling others closer to Christ like crazy! Wow, what a man. I LOVE being his wife. (Sometimes I still can't believe he picked me!)
• Writing a piece of the curriculum and working through the lessons each day - very formative for my own heart.
• Seeing Elijah blossom into new independence and freedom. It was a little hard on Mom's heart when he told me that he did not want to play with me - that he needed some kids to play with. He made some great friends, especially Mallory and Christian, and they roamed all over camp together, having a blast! It was good for Elijah to have a safe place to try out his wings a bit. We went through some growing pains, but it was good for all of us.
• In his Bible class, Elijah learned 8 different Bible verses by memory!
• Going rappelling for the first time. It was scary, but I loved it!
• Kate got very sick the first three days, with her fever spiking to 104.4. I was thankful they have a pediatrician on staff. She assured me it was viral, and sure enough, after 3 days, Kate was back to her sweet self! She loved being outside so much, and got lots of lovin' from the campers and staff. She did a couple new things linguistically (including saying 'cat' and learning to point to her hair and her nose), and she got a new tooth (her 3rd - on the top right).
• The kids in the class we taught (incoming seniors and '08 graduates) were amazing. We formed some great relationships with them and shared some awesome conversation, and are excited many of them are coming to ACU in the fall! One afternoon the girls blessed us by washing our feet.
• Costume days - we had fun dressing up several times!

Heaven
Home= Where my heart really is

I've realized recently that I focus a lot on the aspect of "hope"- that I think about the end of earthly life and Heaven all the time. Hope shapes my days and my decisions. This year, I have slowly read Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis, really taking the time to absorb it, and it has changed my world. I finished right before camp, so the concepts in it about faith and surrendering your whole self were really on my heart as I worked and worshipped every day. The journey of that study combined with 2 weeks of teaching and worshipping have left me in an incredible place.

As I have mentioned before, I have had a lifelong battle with doubt. Today, I spent some time in prayer. And I said the words, "This is the first time for me to pray wihtout wanting to be somewhere else." I was moved to tears as I realized that for maybe the first time in my life, I didn't feel fear when I prayed. By faith, I feel the ground is solid beneath my feet, and I trust that God will direct my feet where He wants me to walk. For maybe the first time, I have peace in my spirit, because I understand that nothing else in this world matters except knowing God and helping others to know Him. In the movie First Knight, Lancelot says, "To fight bravely, you have to not care whether you live or die." That sentiment is echoed by Paul when he writes in Philippians, "To live is Christ, but to die is gain." Today, I felt that total sense of surrender. It was like seeing for the first time. And I rejoiced!! I was touched in the depths of my soul, noting that this was something I had longed for all my life. The journey my heart has been on this year culminated in that one prayer this afternoon. I realized I would look back on this time as another benchmark in my faith story.

If you haven't read Mere Christianity, I strongly encourage you to. I have never read anything more challenging, more inspiring, more solid and clean that the Truths he speaks of. His words are so hard-hitting! I truly believe it is the missing link between the Bible and people's hearts. It seems in our culture and churches, people do not often truly live by faith, becasue they are leaving Christ out of Christianity. They are trying to be good, nice people while holding on to personal happiness as their aim. And they wonder why they feel empty. Lewis calls us to surrender ourselves to God not resist His transforming work - that He will make us new men through and through! I felt a taste of that ultimate peace today when, maybe for the first time, I truly let go.

I thank God for all the different homes I have the priveledge of enjoying, and I look forward to the day when we will be in our true Home!

Mountains Green, Sparkling Streams

Tomorrow afternoon, my family and I are going to Camp Blue Haven for 2 weeks. After our first year there, we fell in love with the camp, the ministry, the people, the setting, and the time we get to spend with each other and with God! This is our third year to serve as teachers for a two-week session. (These pictures are from last year.)

Lance and I teach one of the high school classes for two hours every morning. After that, we're free to do as we please. It's hard not to grow when you are in a beautiful, peaceful setting, away from the stuff of life, having times of worship, study, encouragement and fellowship all day long.

Elijah has been looking forward to it - he has been counting the days for about a month now! He is at the perfect age for it this year. And this will be Kate's first trip to Blue Haven. We are looking forward to letting her meet many of our good friends!

We will be back June 28 - my internet access will be intermittent, at best, so I may or may not get to post between now and then.

Pray for the teachers, staff, counselors and campers as we all strive to come to know Christ more fully!

Just Another Day in Paradise

Do you ever have a moment that you want to remember forever? For me, sometimes when something is particularly meaningful, emotional, poignant, or precious, I consciously try to "take a picture" in my mind. I try to take in the whole scene and just mentally stop time for a moment, burning the images to memory forever. I have many of those mental photographs that I pull up in my heart from time to time, remembering a special time.

As I was rocking Kate to sleep tonight, I thought, I have had a somewhat normal day - just working around the house (packing to get ready for our 2-week trip to Camp Blue Haven - we leave on Friday!), hanging out with the kids. But all of a sudden, I realized that every single one of my "normal" days are filled with moments to remember forever. Sometimes you're just trying to get through the day. But other times, you can step outside yourself and take in the enormity, beauty, and wonder of living with children.

Parenting is SO tender - often stressful, never boring; filled with hugs and kisses and questions and tears; rushing around at times, at others, it seems the clock doesn't even exist. And every day is different... children literally change every day. I think the combination of those two facts is why parents take so many pictures. Each stage a child goes through is unique and wonderful in its own way. But we know they'll be in a different phase tomorrow, and the old one will be gone. We just want to hold on to as many precious pieces as we can.

I wanted to record a medley of mental snapshots I have from today.

• Waking up, squished and grumpy at my lack of rest, in the same bed with both of my children (after my mom kept the kids last night, we all 4 stayed over, at Elijah's request)
  
• Taking the kids to Walgreens because Elijah really wanted another giant rubber centipede (eeww!). Seeing his delight and hearing his laughter when I told him we could get two more.


• Watching Kate crawl as fast as she could when she saw the back door was open (she LOVES going outside!).


• Listening to the splatter of water and Elijah's constant chatter as I watched him play with the water hose, squirting everything in sight.


• Feeling Kate get squirmy and restless in my arms as she gets sleepy. Feeling her totally relax, looking into her trusting eyes, and feeling the warmth of her hand on my cheek. Watching her close her eyes as I rock her. Hearing her cry when I lay her down and leave.


• Coming into the bathroom to the smell of baby powder. Seeing it spread over the floor and Kate sitting next to the open cabinet.


• Feeling Kate climb all over me while we layed on the floor. Laughing as she enjoyed climbing onto my tummy, then climbing down, and starting over again. Hearing her giggle as she tucked her hands down by her side and pressed her face and shoulders into a pillow.


• Hearing Kate's insistent "Mmmm!" and "Mah mah! (more more)"; seeing her little serious frown when she spies food. The taste of a shared bowl of Apple Jacks as an afternoon snack.


• Hearing quiet little footsteps in the hall while sitting on the couch. Looking over my shoulder to see only one of Elijah's eyes peering into the living room, looking for me. At my smile and "Hi, sweetie!", seeing him smile back and run over to sit next to me.


• Hearing Elijah laugh when he picked Kate up with both arms around her waist, moving her to different spots around her activity table.


• Laughing with Elijah as we turned up the Van Halen CD. Seeing him grab his toy guitar and rock out. Feeling Kate hold on tightly as I twirled her around. Feeling badly when he noticed they were singing about the devil ("Runnin' with the Devil"); seeing understanding and confidence in his eyes when we decided to turn it off.
• Hearing Kate cry when she hit her head on the door frame. Being the one to pick her up and rub her back and hearing my soft voice while I comforted her.
  
• Hearing Elijah's musical laughter when he purposely told me, "I want to go to Taco" instead of saying "I want to go to Taco Bueno." Watching him go up to the cashier all by himself to order and pay for an extra taco (he is so small that by the time he got there, I couldn't even see the top of his head!), then hearing him say "Thank you" when they handed it to him. Seeing his proud smile when he carried the tray back over to us, and then watching him responsibly put the tray away after he had unloaded its contents. Looking at Kate's round cheeks while she took her first "big girl bite" (not from a spoon) of a bean burrito.


• Watching Elijah's eyes light up as he heard the ice cream truck while we were at the park. Seeing the red juice drip all over his hand, the swing, down his leg, and into a red puddle on the ground below him as he ate it.


• Hearing Kate's delighted laughter and watching her kick her feet as she was swinging. Feeling her squishy belly as I poked it to tickle her.


• Hearing Elijah's cry as I told him it was time to leave the park; hearing myself repeat the words "I already answered you; don't ask me again" several times.
  
• Watching Kate trying to grab the bath water as it comes out of the faucet; feeling her resist me as I try to sit her down in the water (she only wants to stand up!). Watching her hold on to the wall as she cruised around to the back corner so she could grab the shaving cream and toss it into the water. Seeing her lift her little knee to try to climb over the bag of bath toys. Hearing her laugh and seeing her kick both her legs at the same time when I pulled her out of the tub and wrapped her in a fluffy towel.


• Smelling baby lotion as I rubbed it over both of my kids' smooth skin. Making eye contact with them and smiling as I rub their feet. Smelling the delicious sweetness of Nestles (baby hair lotion) as I put it in Kate's thickening hair.
  
• Hearing a strange "swish-swish" sound as I was brushing Elijah's teeth. Looking down to see Kate sitting up on the tile floor, diaper only, using her legs to happily turn herself around and around in a circle.
  
• Feeling a tight grip on a wet quarter as I pulled it out of Kate's mouth and hand.
  
• At Elijah's request, taking him and Kate outside look at the moon. Singing praise songs together while looking at the moon (in lieu of staying with him for 2 songs from his bedtime CD). Feeling the wet lawn chair cushion soak into my clothes, and feeling both my kids sitting in my lap at the same time. Marveling at the care-free-ness of children as he made up his own song of praise to God, and hearing him say he wanted to invite his friends over and all make music to God together.
  
• Feeling Kate's little hand on the back of my neck and in my hair as I carried her through the house.
  
• Singing along with Elijah's bedtime CD, and hearing Kate'ssoft, high-pitched "Aah ahh, ahh ahhhhhh" as she joined in.

These everyday moments are moments to cherish! I wish I could go around with a video camera continously strapped to my head - I wish I could record all of it, the good and the bad. In Job 42, Job tells God, "Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know." Sometimes I feel that my life is too wonderful for me to appreciate, understand, take in. But I continue to overflow with gratitude for the everyday treasures that are Elijah and Kate.

"There are no days in life so memorable as those which vibrated to some stroke of the imagination." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's amazing how a costume can totally change you.

You can be anything - forget all your inhibitions and become someone or something else. Fulfill your dreams. Imagine new dreams. Spread your horizons, learn something new, and empathize with others who may have different perspectives. Or simply play: be silly and laugh at how you look in something zany!

We have acquired a closet full of costumes, and Elijah loves wearing each of them ones. It is fun to imagine him in each of these different roles, seeing different aspects of his personality come to life with each change of clothes.

Here is a smattering of pictures of our guy with all his different looks.

Santa Elijah

Tiger Swim Elijah

Spiderman Elijah

Scarecrow Elijah

King Lance and Prince Elijah
(for Lance's birthday, we crowned him King!)

Pirate Elijah

Rocker Elijah

Doctor Elijah

Fireman Elijah

Sir Elijah

Elijah, the "naked gun"

May your imagination never sleep!

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

It has been 6 weeks since my last post! Pretty crazy after starting off so strongly, posting several times a week. But as I had mentioned earlier, my camera broke in early April. I think because of that, I lost momentum with my blog. The good news is, I have a new camera!

For my first post after a long absence, I thought I'd just catch you up on what we've been doing this month. Some things I have pictures for; some I don't.

Elijah had Western Heritage Day at school! He got a real cowboy hat and boots for the occasion, and he got to ride a real horse at school.

Lance and I set a goal of going on a date once a month. We are making it a priority, and it has been so much fun so far! Last month we went to dinner with 2 couples from church. This week, Lance took me to dinner, and then we went to a coffee shop and played cards. He is so much fun to be with! We enjoyed relaxing and re-connecting together. We have been dealing with several external stressors, and that stress has pulled us together and made us an "us" all over again. I am so blessed by the strong love Lance and I have for each other.

Kate is is 9 1/2 months old now. I can't believe she'll only be a baby for less than 3 more months!

She is crawling and cruising like crazy. It is so much fun to watch her get around! She loves to walk while holding my fingers or pushing the walker, and she is so close to standing alone - I have seen her let go completely a couple times. Even though she falls right down, I know she is trying it out, and it won't be long before she is steady on those legs!

Her verbal skills are growing, too. She can tell you what a duck says ("gahk gahk gah") or what a puppy says ("ha ha ha"). She loves to play copycat with noises, and she says "Heyyyyy" and "Hi." She says "Bite" ("Da-tuh") when she wants something to eat.

Kate's little personality is precious. She is almost always happy and friendly - people are always commenting on her good nature! She waves Hidee and Bye-bye and has started bouncing up and down to dance when she is standing up. She LOVES to be sung to, especially anything that has hand motions. She will often "sing" along by saying "aahhhh." Her favorite toys are keys and remotes, but she is learning the uses of objects like hairbrushes, and she loves to open doors. And Elijah cracks her up every day.

Here is a picture of her in the bath - she likes to try to grab the bath water as it comes out of the faucet!

She is getting more hair, and I think it is going to be beautiful hair! She has a lot of body, and maybe even a little curl, in the back. I can't wait to start putting little clips in it!

We went to Fort Worth to see our good friends the Harrisons. Jeremy, Holly, and little Luke joined us for some Uncle Julio's (the best!!), then we stayed up late talking at their house while the kids were in bed. The next day, we all headed to the Fort Worth Zoo for some animal fun!

Lance and I have been working really hard on our weight - he has lost 20 pounds this year, and I now weigh 33 pounds less than when I got pregnant. It is amazing to be this small; kinda weird! I'm 3 sizes smaller than I've ever been in my life, even when I got married or when I was in high school. It was awesome to buy size 2 for the first time ever a couple weeks ago! It has felt great to take control of my eating habits. I'm setting my mind to keep the weight off for good!

On Mother's Day, Elijah and Lance treated me to a gift card and breakfast in bed, complete with Dr. Pepper. :) Elijah had made me a special gift at school, and he was so excited to give it to me! When he woke up that morning, he told me he had dreamed about it. I was treated like a princess!

Lance rented a Bobcat for a day. We dug a sandbox in our back yard, and we were planning to dig up some of the rosebushes in the back yard (which proved to have roots too deep to come up!). Elijah had a wonderful time riding in this awesome machine with his dad, and now we have a great sandbox to enjoy!

Probably the biggest milestone during my blog absence was that on May 17, Elijah turned 4 years old!

I can hardly believe it is true. We celebrated all day long, starting with a treasure hunt for his presents and cinnamon rolls with candles. I let him plan the entire morning. We went for a family walk where he tried out his new scooter, we put together one of his new puzzles, and we went to Sonic for lunch and played on the playground. Kate enjoyed playing in the sand, and she surprised me by not eating any!

After having a nap, we got ready and headed to Prime Time for Elijah's party. On all three of Elijah's previous parties, I have gone all out, buying tons of fun decorations, planning games for the kids and adults, and working really hard to celebrate Elijah's special day. This year, since I have 2 kids, I thought it would be great to do something a little more mom-friendly. Prime Time was just perfect: I didn't have to provide paper goods, decorations, games, or even balloons! We showed up with a cake and had a wonderful time. After we all ate pizza, Elijah and I had some fun in the game room. We are so proud of our boy!

Here are some things he has said recently that I thought were pretty fun:

When there's a shooting star, does God pick one up and drop it?

[after seeing Kate in her new dress]: Oh, Kate, you look so pretty! Now we can get married!

A kiss is when you put your lips on your family (like your mom or your sister or your grandmother), and then you make a little noise.

It's good to be back in touch!

A great idea

I know this post may be similar to my last post, but I had another funny conversation with Elijah that just had to be shared!

Tonight after church, I asked him what he learned in Bible class. He said he learned about grace.

"And what is grace?" I asked him.

"I don't remember," he told me.

"It's when God gives you good things even though you're a bad guy," I explained. "Like, what if you pushed Kate down and she got hurt, but I gave you ice cream for a special reward?"

"That would be grace," Elijah said.

"And what if I told you to clean your room, but you said, 'NO! I don't want to!' But I got you a new book for a special reward anyway?"

"That's grace!" he replied.

After he thought for a moment, he said, "We should try that sometime."

I couldn't stop laughing!

We Have Lift-Off

On Wednesday night at church, Elijah's Bible class talked about Stephen, the first martyr, who was stoned for preaching about Jesus (Acts 8). Tonight as I was putting Elijah to bed, we were talking about that story again. I told him that right before Stephen died, he saw Jesus.

This amazed Elijah. He said, "How did he see Jesus? Because, the guys were throwing rocks at Stephen. Then, he just blasted off to Jesus, and the guys were like, 'Hey! We were throwing rocks at you!' "

This cracked me up! The more I thought about it and imagined the scene as Elijah was picturing it, the more it made me laugh!